Do these if you are dealing with a Difficult Spouse- Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo
Do you think your spouse is difficult? Have you done almost everything you know to make him or her happy yet he or she isn’t? Not to worry, sit tight and enjoy this read. Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo exposes essential tips on how to deal and overcome a difficult spouse.
Loving someone is not enough. They also must love you. No marriage breaks overnight. They break over time. The best way to get good marriage is from choosing right. Some people have chosen but they didn’t choose well.
However, you don’t need to blame yourself too much if you think that you didn’t choose right. There are six steps to help you deal with a difficult spouse in this article.
Six Steps To Help You Deal With A Difficult Spouse
Very many times, a lot of people are confused on what to do with their difficult spouses. Some people go ahead to seek divorce when they cannot take it any longer. God does not divorce. His wish is not that marriage will not last. He wants us to enjoy our marriages. That’s why i have with me these amazing seven steps on how to deal with your difficult spouse. They include the following:
1. Deal with a difficult spouse with Prayer
If you are single and you are dealing with a difficult boyfriend, the best thing to do is to go. All you need to do is Just part ways with the person. So, I’m not talking to the singles but the married when I say that you should pray. However, if you are already married, leaving the marriage shouldn’t be what you should be thinking about. This is because marriage is a covenant. As such should not be broken. I know that people get divorced at some point.
Nevertheless the truth is, that is not the mind of God. God wants us to work it out. Prayer is so underestimated by believers. Most at times, what believers do is to complain instead of pray. They are reporting their spouse to God. When it comes to prayer, it must be done with faith and backed up with scriptures. Prayer is powerful, there is no situation prayer doesn’t change.
Firstly, prayer changes you. You need to be a better person to win another person over. Secondly, prayer changes the atmosphere. Thirdly prayer changes your spouse. The Bible says the heart of a king belongs to him and he can change it at will. God transforms people through prayer. Prayer works! Your prayer and your actions must be in tandem. James 1 vs 5 to 8
2. Patience, the key to dealing with a difficult spouse
Marriage will teach you patience. Sometimes, when your spouse is acting in a certain way, try to understand them before correcting them. Find out why. Every behavior you see has a reason. Your job is not to change the behavior but to find the reason for it first.
3. Praise
Nobody is one hundred percent bad. If you say that your spouse is one hundred percent bad, then you are the one who has got issues. I suspect you. Trust me; there some good parts in your spouse. Find and begin to praise your spouse. I counseled someone days back and she was saying a lot of bad things about her spouse. I just told her to write the good things about her spouse. After she’s done that, she told me that she didn’t know her spouse was that good.
Moreover, you should note that whatever you focus on magnifies. Instead of complaining so much about your spouse, list the good things he does. Start praising him each week with one of the things on the list. People get addicted to praises. Humans like praise, they react to praise. Everybody is responsive to praise. Most times, when people open their mouth, it’s just bad things they want to talk about. Tell your partner sweet things, you will not die.
4. Persist in doing good
James 1 vs 5 to 8 If you are dealing with a difficult spouse, you should persist in doing well. Don’t do fire for fire; it will burn down the house. God admonishes the women to respect their spouses because He knows that respect would be a problem for them.
By the time you marry as a woman, you begin to notice that you are faster or sensitive than your husband. Women in every area are more advanced than men, this is why God asked that women respect their husbands, and this can be difficult for them.
However, the men will find it difficult to love because it is not in their nature to love. Adam was without a woman for a very long time. A woman’s biggest need is to be loved. Love is based on what she needs not what you like. You will sacrifice yourself to meet your woman’s need. Women like gifts. Send your wives money for no reason. Don’t allow your spouse to remind you to meet a particular need of hers. I sent my wife two million naira lately. When she asked me what it was for, I told her to buy shoes with it. Spoil your wife. Take care of your woman and your home will be so peaceful.
There’s this saying that women like money. It’s not entirely true. This is because women see money as a tool for security. Women want to know that everything is alright. Men see money as a prize and that’s why they find it hard to spend money.
5. Peoples intervention
Some men are champion in malice keeping. So are some women. Be careful about bringing in your family. Family can take your side. It might destroy your family. in some cases, when you have forgiven your husband or wife, your family has not forgiven. They wont hesitate to bring that up when there is a little issue. Be careful how you narrate your family affairs to your immediate family including your friends.
Seek help from a professional if you need someone to talk to. This is one of the most reliable ways of settling differences in the home.
6. Packaging
Learn to package and take good care of your self as a man. Although this is more important for women. Men are attracted by what they see. Look good, dress neatly and wear perfumes. Stop tying wrapper round your breasts all day. Change your hairdo, and make up.
Likewise the men, you need to change your undies as soon as possible. Do not be a man that wears a boxer for one whole week. Have a clean haircut always. smell nice too. Women love men who are neat too.
Read more on how to keep your home here
